Last year, in 2021, Peru reached a historic peak in divorces, having more than 7,000 cases entered in Public Registries. This process is usually difficult and even more so if you have small children, as it causes feelings of pain, anger, helplessness, frustration, sadness, fear, anxiety and even loneliness. For this reason, it is important to learn to cope with a separation and thus avoid depression. Psychologist Carmen Bravo de Rueda, specialist at Clinica Ricardo Palma, highlights that for any change in life, time is needed to adapt and accept what is happening. Therefore, below, she gives us some advice to overcome this stage.

Key tips to deal with this process

Breakups are a natural process, which brings good days and bad days; however, it is important to face them and following these tips will help you to do so:

1. Acceptance
   Thinking about the “what ifs” or about the past will prevent us from beginning to live in the present and to appreciate the possibilities of the future.

2. Find new interests
   This will distract attention from the bad moment. In addition, it is advisable to acquire a hobby such as going to the gym, enrolling in a course, etc.

3. Avoid starting another relationship right away
   Starting a relationship right away can make mistakes. It is important to grieve and take time to heal wounds. This stage is to analyze the mistakes and successes of your past relationship.

4. Socialize with friends
   It is important to connect with old friends, whether by WhatsApp, Zoom or any social network, because they will keep us company and can even share common experiences.

5. Don’t neglect the family
   On many occasions, parents focus their conflicts on themselves without realizing that they also involve their children. For them, the separation can be extremely complex, especially if the figure that leaves is very active in parenting.

It is important to keep in mind that each person’s healing process and times are different. However, if grief and loneliness continue after a year, psychotherapeutic support should be sought.

Carmen Bravo de Rueda
Psychologist at Clínica Ricardo Palma