Making the decision to separate is not easy, especially when there are children involved. However, there are situations in which it is better to take different paths for the physical, psychological and emotional well-being of all involved. Dr. Carmen Bravo de Rueda, psychologist at our clinic, shares some guidelines to consider.

Physical violence. All physical violence is a form of control that a woman should not allow, not only because it produces physical harm, but also because it affects the psychological sphere and self-esteem. This behavior can lead to depression, anxiety, eating disorders and even suicide attempts. If a violent event has already occurred, do not wait for it to happen again and consider ending your relationship, unless you both commit to go to psychological therapy and do not abandon it until the problems that generate the violent behavior are solved.

Psychological violence. This is no less important than the first, also here it is about exercising excessive control of the other person without blows, but through attitudes and behaviors such as threats, prohibitions, humiliations, which try to manipulate and dominate the partner, often isolating them from family and/or friends, also causing damage to mental and emotional level, self-esteem problems, anxiety and depression, among others.

Adultery proven. Marriage implies fidelity, it is part of the oath that the bride and groom freely take when they decide to marry. Its importance lies in the support that fidelity provides to the stability of the couple, since it guarantees honor, respect for feelings and trust.  By being unfaithful to one’s partner, one not only incurs in a lack of respect, but also in the deterioration of the emotional bond; it can cause jealousy, insecurity, low self-esteem, etc., and not only causes pain in the affected person, but for the law it is considered immoral and therefore it is considered as a reason to dissolve the marriage.

Permanent distrust. Trust is extremely important in a couple’s relationship.  When a person distrusts without reason, it may be due to personality problems, for example anxiety, fear of abandonment, insecurity shown through unhealthy jealousy, which can become a cause of rupture. In this case, the distrustful person should treat his or her problems, including his or her self-esteem, with the help of a psychologist.

Conflict dynamics. Many times, this problem does not only affect the couple, but the whole family. There are couples who state that they do not engage in physical aggression, therefore, there is no reason to change; however, words can also cause a lot of damage. In a hostile environment, there is emotional distancing, lack of respect, communication problems, frustration, contempt or anger for the other, and all this affects the family, because it is not given a safe environment where they can develop based on good example, respect, harmony and cooperation among members.

Remember:

Seek the advice of our specialists. Attending psychological therapy for couples can help strengthen the emotional bond, improve communication and rebuild trust in the relationship, thus avoiding the decision to separate.

Dr. Carmen Bravo de Rueda
Psychologist at Clínica Ricardo Palma