“Every little one has his or her own time to get to sleep on his or her own; at around 4 years of age, he or she may be able to do it. The key is to be persistent. There are children who are more independent or mature, and others who still need parental supervision. You must be very patient, because this need may be due to many factors, including fear of the dark,” says Dr. Mary Castro, a psychologist at our clinic, who provides valuable guidance on the subject.

What are the consequences for the child to continue to sleep with his or her parents?

In the first place, it will affect the child’s personality formation, since it will create an emotional dependency on parents and other people, which can lead to insecurity, since the child will feel the need to be by someone’s side in order to move forward and will not be able to solve his or her own problems. There may also be difficulties in adapting to new situations or environments.

What are the keys to getting your child to sleep alone?

• It is not enough to ask him to go to his room; you can motivate them by explaining that by sleeping in their room they will have more space.
• Seek to flatter them, emphasizing how big they are and how proud you are as parents that they will be sleeping alone.
• You can decorate the room to their liking, so that it is perceived as their own space, and they identify with it.
• Before leaving, you could leave a dim light in his room and keep the habit of putting him to bed at the same time.
• Establish a pre-bedtime routine: you can read a story, include a goodnight kiss, pray, etc. It should always be something that is available and brief.

Our specialist recommends avoiding:

• Pressuring children to sleep alone and closing the bedroom door can make it harder for them to want to be alone.
• Leaving the TV on or taking them to your room to sleep in the middle of the night at the slightest knock.
• Always get up to accompany them to the bathroom. If they are old enough to do it alone and have done it before, they will have no problem. However, it is suggested to put a lamp in the room, leave the hallway light on or keep the switches within the child’s reach.

Dr. Mary Castro
Psychologist at Clínica Ricardo Palma