“Changes and new situations that teenagers must face and adapt to can cause emotional pain. If we do not understand these situations we will not have good communication with our children. Teenagers questions whether he/she will be accepted, who he/she is, who he/she wants to be, wants to try new experiences, because he/she is developing his/her identity and even considers the meaning of life”, says Carmen Bravo de Rueda, a psychologist at our clinic, who gives us some keys to face this stage.

What difficult situations might our teenagers have to face?  

For example, bullying if it does not grow as much as friends; the rejection of the person with whom he/she falls in love; the change in his/her physique, sometimes disproportionate; the desire to fit into the group of his/her peers, etc.

Where to start:

• It is important for parents to understand that their teenager is in an in-between phase: he/she is no longer a child, but he/she is also not an adult and should not be treated as such.
• Parents should make an effort to understand that this stage is transcendental for the minor, since he/she has endless doubts and can make many mistakes. Therefore, he/she needs stable and close parents on whom he/she can lean without fear of criticism or punishment.

Recommendations for parents:

• Evaluate your attitude. Parents often oppose and even punish when their children want to go out with friends or when they do not want to do housework. However, both attitudes will help them in their future life: to get along in society and reject circumstances that they do not like, not to be passive people
• Be firm, but loving and assertive. Consider your child’s feelings, listen to him. They can try to convince him, negotiate or make him see the consequences of her actions, but do not force him.
• Try to understand him/her. Get rid of the idea that they act on a whim or rebellion. Adolescence is a complex stage in the life of any human being.
• Don’t be so strict. Do not impose strong punishments or inflexible limits, nor make fun of him or her. Remember that they are learning to develop abilities and skills in all social areas and it is key element for hi mor her to have good self-esteem
• Know how to be guides. Do not be very permissive parents or those who want to teach their children what life is like. The ideal is to guide, support and accompany, letting them learn from their mistakes and correcting them whenever necessary.

Take advantage of this summer to generate a special connection with your children. With perseverance and love they can develop a special bond that lasts a lifetime.

Carmen Bravo de Rueda
Psychologist at Clínica Ricardo Palma