Regarding Shakira’s new song, many people have related it as an action of spite by the singer, however, it is a normal process in love breakups.

The Colombian singer, Shakira released her latest song “BZRP Music Sessions #53” a few weeks ago and social networks were no strangers to it. Many commented that the singer was “disgusted” for expressing phrases such as “Women don’t cry anymore, they cash in”, “So much that you gave yourself as a champion and when I needed you, you gave your worst version”, ” A she-wolf like me is not for rookies, a she-wolf like me is not for guys like you”. Given this, Antonella Galli, a psychologist at Clinica Ricardo Palma, spoke with Bienestar from the El Comercio newspaper, who explained to us the reason why people act like this after a breakup.

“Acting out of spite is acting negatively in the face of an event that has hurt the person. In this case, Shakira ended her relationship and is going through a situation of mourning, she had the loss of her partner with whom she had children and there are many emotions involved, which is why she mentions those phrases in her song,” explains the specialist.

Stages of a love breakup:

People go through a love breakup process in which spite may be present. Like Shakira, this process is not easy to bear, since there are three stages in a love break:

1. Denial: In this first stage, the person does not accept what is happening. Naturally, he or she seeks to become more attached, because he/she begins to feel the absence of his/her ex-partner. He/she often reviews photos of the two of them and gets closer to items received as gifts.
2. Feeling several emotions at the same time: The person is feeling anger and frustration, since things did not go as expected and at the same time sadness and pain arise. It’s normal to feel empty because of the loss.
3. Assimilation: The person resumes the activities that they used to do before and that perhaps they put aside to prioritize their relationship, they meet up with past friends. He/she recognizes and heals everything that he/she lived before.

“When there is spite, it does not mean that they will perpetuate eternal negative feelings towards the former partner, it is something momentary that over time will pass, he or she will process what has happened, lived and will begin to heal his/her wounds,” adds Galli.

Tips to avoid acting out of spite

At this time, it is difficult to recognize what we should do to feel better, because if we continue to act out of spite, situations may occur that we may later regret. Therefore, we must take into account the following recommendations:

1. Be patient: “This is a long process that doesn’t happen overnight, it’s going to hurt for a while. It is important to be accompanied by family or friends, so it will hurt less, but it will pass later, ”says Galli.
2. Go to a mental health specialist: It is relevant to go to help understand the situation, what forgiveness is. Talking about it is going to mean that we get rid of the pain and assimilate it, and be accompanied by a specialist in the grieving process.

Dr. Antonella Galli
Psychologist at Clinica Ricardo Palma

Source: elcomercio.pe